Post by .{.Zeecarian.}. on Aug 22, 2007 3:07:29 GMT -5
I think theres something wrong with me. My hair is dripping wet , I just got out of my bath , where I was sitting with a razor held to my wrist for about half an hour. I was just staring at it. Trying to decide if I would make a cut... I dont even remember raising it to my wrist. It all the sudden it just was....There. I was just looking at it and I heard a voice.Three of them actually.One mine , and two others.... And its all in my head.God im so d**n crazy. The frist one to speak said ' Oh come on , you dont have the guts to it.Youll never do it. Youre just a baby. A cry baby' I felt like I had to prove something to that voice...But all I proved is that it was right.That im not brave enough. Another said ' And why would she want to?' I wasnt thinking.They were. I sound so crazy. I was hearing this in my head. Two other people fighting about the razor agianst my wrist. I dont know... I didnt have my own thoughts. They were the only voices there.Mine was just...Gone. Theres only two other voices besides mine. Alright.That wasnt when it started...It started before then , when i was sitting on my bed. I litterally started talking to myself , actually...Talking to the others. Well ,they were talking. They were talking about a heart?And that it was cold? Im so confused.... But the scary thing is I was litterally sitting there ,talking as these two people , having them talk to eacvhother through my voice. Lately I think something might be wrong with me. I wake up with cuts I never had the night before , and I pull my hair... God d**nit I am crazy...Now my parents have seen the cuts all over me. They arent razor cuts if thats what youre thinking. My newest one appered this mourning , on the back of my knee. It was kidna raw and open then. Now its red and sore. Its not a spider bite , too big.Right now they are being queit , I dont hear them.Maybe I just need more sleep. Maybe im just a bit....Tired. I just hope this goes away. Whatever it is. I dont want help. I dont NEED help. Besdies , The only one getting hrurt is me. And its not bad. Just hair pulling , and some little cuts.... Its nothing
April 1st 2004
I have my lovely 'lipstick' on right now....Blood red. A bit thin though...But Id have to cut deeper to make it thicker... Well , let me explain.I dont wear lipstick , I wear bloodon my lips. Sure , it gets in your mouth...But it tastes sweet in a way. I love it. I break open old cuts on my wrists and arms and smear the stuff on my lips. After a while it fades... But it stains your lips eventually.But I still break open the cuts everyday and smear it on my lips...Bloodlust I guess....Blood tastes good , dont you think? Hm...Maybe you dont.But I do. Call me whatever you want.Morbid , strange , crazy. Ive been called worse.
August 10th 2007
I never thought that b!tch would shut up.She wouldnt stop screaming. She kept grabbing onto my wrists , trying not to fall off. But she fell. I watched her slip underneth the waves , and soon blood following as she had been inpaled on a sharp rock.Hore.She deserved it. Now shes gone. Ha! She kept staring at me at first.SHe used to laugh at me....She used to yell at me that I was a freak...Now shes rotting in hell , where she belongs. Its was amusingin a way to see her slip under water , gasping for breath in her last few moments , just after hitting the rock. I liked it. Now , I best go clean off my hands and then have some tea with my sister , its tea time , you know.
August 13th 2007
I looked at them all , passing as I stood , still.They stared at me . Is it my hair?Is it my clothes?My words? Why do they stare? I dont know why. I hate them all.They all push me away. They should pay.They should pay.Maybe Ill make her a paper heart. Because then it cant break.It will rip.Ha!He wont want her then! I started chuckling , my tones deep and cruel even , but the sounds were very quiet.Maybe thats why they stare , because I am so quiet.Probably not. Now I have to get to my plan..But who first...Maybe Maria , she always hated me.She used to be my ' friend ' but then...Wasnt. Or maybe Josh...He hurt me , just for Maria , or Cassie...She deserves it for being such a b!tch...Or maybe evnen...Just all at once.Just start shooting...Into the crowd...But first I need my gun....A good gun...Maybe a colt...Or even a rifle.No , something quicker...Something easier....God.What am I thinking. Zierra...Stop.Wait , why not...They always outcast me!They never want me!They push me away!Yes , they deserve to be killed!! Because they've killed me on the indside. Because theyve made me feel worthless....
August 16th 2007
Now ive got my gun...I have everything I need...I know how to do this. Exciting , dont you think? I finally get to really kill someone...Not jsut push them off a cliff. Maybe Ill kill the person first.Or maybe I can turtore them first...Kill first....I cant wait. I want my teddy bear.... Its soft... I think ill go find my teddy bear now....
August 19th 2007
Its strange here. People actually seem to....Like me? Well they dont know me! Ha , they would really love me if they knew I was a serial killer , wouldnt they? Atleast when im here my parents cant get me. Oh , what am I saying. If I ever see either of them again im going to slit their troats. Just payback is all. Payback is all I want. But people keep getting in my way. I feel sorry for them in a way. So stupid , so unaware. Well thats their fault! Its not my fault they dont have half a brain.
August 22nd 2007
The thrid girl. The thrid one for my payback. Maria. Shes finally gone.I never thought she would be. I came up behind her and held a gun to her back and told her to come with me or she would be shot.Either way , she would end up dead. By the time I took her into the woods she was sobbing. Little very *friendly* person! She woudlnt stop crying and asking ' Why are you doing this Zierra?We were ebst friends! ' Yeah right. She knew I was getting hurt and just turned away and preteneded nothing was happening. Once we were far from town I stopped her in a clearing. She kept crying. i enjoyed her tears , but after a while the sobbing annoyed me so I hit her across the face so she would shut up. I shot her three times.Once in the stomach, once in the chest , and once in the leg. She crumpled up on the ground , bleeding.I picked her up before the blood got on the ground , went on , and buried her by the river. Eventually , She'll be found. You see , before she was buried I had a little fun with her. I craved designs into her skin , all centering up to the middle of her chest where there was an X. It was beautiful when it was done. Skin makes a good canvas , so soft and supple. Well , hers was.She was always perfect.Also , in middle of the X there was a kiss marking in her blood , from me.
August 25th 2007
I found a little box. A little wish box.Wish box...Dream box....Deaht box. Its brown with brass hinges...Rusted closed. Ill open it sometime. Hm...I jsut reliezed to the reader of this I sound very insane. Well , poof I am not? Here , would a mad woman plan out things so perfectly? Like when I killed Zac...I planned it for weeks ahead. I led him intothe woods , and he trusted me so , loved me. I took him in further and further , and once deep in the woods , I kissed him on the lips and pulled him close , as much as I hate having people close , And when he was kissing me back , relaxed not suspecting anything , and pushed the tip of my gun aginast his back , and made him go to the river side. I told him to levae his clothes on the shore so it would look like he had gone swimming , then once he did what he was told , tied a gag into his mouth so he could not scream , then made him go deep inot the woods , and shot him once in the chest , and once in the head. Before doing this I wrapped cloth around the areas I would shot , so the blood would not drip but be soaked up by them. When he was dead , I dug a hole , and put him into it. When I buired him I covered the spot with leaves so it looked undisturbed. Then put away my gun. And if something looks for him , theyll see his clothes by the river , and think he drowned. SO am I insane? I plan things os carefully.... I am not insane.
August 28th 2007
SIGNED,ZIERRA STRIPE[/font]
