Post by .{.Zeecarian.}. on Aug 18, 2007 13:44:44 GMT -5
For just one d**n day why wont everything go right.I never write like this. Actually writing something that isnt just words flooding from my mind wiht no sense. Drake killed them. He killed Silantia , Serra , The other three , and his sister.Lilly. I cant believe this. I know im sad but I cant let myself be. If I let myself be....Well...Sometimes Celtians dont have the best control over emotions I suppose. Im only Celtian left now.I know how the Docter felt , feels... You're alone pretty much. While you can tell someone everything that comes with your race , they'll never really understand it. Sure I can say ' Celtians have emotions that can take over them. Thats why eye color changes to confistate for them.But sometimes theres too mcuh and it can control you.' But no one will really understand. Being Celtian isnt like other races. Even just a flicker of emotion can make you do something you never wanted to.One time when I was angry I ended up killing Dice.But he deserved it for killing Katelen... So I just either 1.Have my eye color change to let some of it out or 2. Let go of all emotions... Make my eyes black. Anyways , I know what its like to be a Time Lord.I was one..For just an hour.It was so strange.I could feel the world hurtling underneth my feet. And know everything that ever happened. Seeing so many things was strange.Knowing so many things was strange. Im honestly glad to be what I am.Not that being a Time Lord is a bad thing , but I like being Celtian. Wow , Am I rambling or what?Docter if you are reading this then you may laugh at my babbling , come on you know you want to. I swear , one day can never pass by and be normal. Either its being abuducted , facing Daleks , which we wont have to worry about now , Going into the past, or people dying. Its strange.I feel alone in a way , but im no where near it. Ive got The Docter with me. On the brighter side of things , something funny happened. We were both in our rooms and we were both trying not to wake the other up and kept dropping stuff everywhere. We had a convestion threw the wall that sounded something like this ' :Thud: Oww.. ' 'are you okay?!:Thud: ' 'Ow..Yea , Are you?!' ':Ker-splat: Ouch , yea!!'. Im a clutz to the extermee.How I can dance without falling flat on my face is a mystery. And the teletubbie popping up was just funny. Well....It wasnt all the way as it was Sarah's. Both our rooms pretty much look like disastor zones. Which I found out when I went into his. Pillow fight was fun , until poking him in the nerve. Got pushed off the bed for that one! (And Docter if you are still reading this , you cna laugh , come on , you know its funny.) Well , atleast we're together here. Even fi we are both the last of our races , it doesnt help to be lonely.
And the baby....Im excited about it in a way , but also a little afraid. Is it me or do none of my kids ever live a full life? Katelen was killed by her Dad , One baby was stillborn , Lilly was killed by her brother , and Im not sure if Drake is still alive or not. Ill check on my screwdriver later.But for now im writing. I wonder if it will be Celtian , Time Lord , or half of both. Either way , Im happy about it. Really I am. Im not sure how this is going to work out now... As long as they dont turn out to be like Drake...I wonder what happened to Drake to make him do that. He never was like that. Atleast I dont think...But I know very well you can never know what goes on in someones mind that you dont know about. In a way I hope the baby is Celtian for me , but also Time Lord for him....Or half of each. No matter what it is though , ill be happy about it. Hm..Boy or girl.... Oh god , if it was a girl.I remember Lilly when she was thirteen. It was comic to see the faces the Docter would make when she came out of her room wearing a mini skirt. I can hear her voice if I think about it 'But Daaad , its not that short.' I miss her. But again I cant let emotions go so...It will be numb emotions , if that makes sense.
I suppose in a strange way I miss Drake in a way as well. There are some memories I can recall as good with him.Actually , I can for many.Just up until now...I dont know what happened to him. Like when he was younger and walked into the room when me and the Docter were sleeping in his bed. I usually sleep in my room so he was like ' Mommy what are you doing in here?' It was amusing , but not to us at the time. ' Uh...Sleeping.' I replied. 'But youre awake , and kissing.' Drake had said. Or something of that sorts. Eventually he left the room , only for K9 to explain to him what we were doing! Oh thanks for that K9. K9 had said something like ' Education for child' Its funny to think of now. The Docter siad something like ' Not that kind!' But that was the old Drake , from when he was a little kid. Drake changed alot. Oh great. Let emotions go over here.Laughing and crying. Prae , you are such a cry baby... Anyways , I found a picture I had taken while the Docter and Drake werent watching when he was about four or so. Drake was behind the Docter , who had his back turned , forming a fireball in his little hand. Agfter I took the picture I snatched him up , Dont need the Docter having a reaction to fire again.
Oh yes...Fire...I know this is silly , but fire scares me sometimes.Which is rediculus considering Im a fire based Celtain. Very silly... But I got three people killed from a fire. I dont plan on it again. Today , or was it yesterday...Time is a little blurred in my head right now... I saw a house burn. It reminded me of the hosue I burned , and I bolted.Just like I did when i was thirteen. I do regret it , but you cant change the past so you cant try to. I am working on adding new settings to my screwdrvier right now. The Docter wanted to know how I did it since I didnt use the only two ways most people know. I forgot to explain it , but might later.
Well , I think ive rambled on enough for today.If someone actually read this and made it threw all that sappy memory stuff and clutzy moments , nice job. I am in a bit of a morbid mood right now.But venting on this paper helped a little.
~Praesul Vass~
Praesul sat up in her bed and read over what she had written.Yes , that was about right.But words flooded her mind without warning and she picked up her pen again and wrote without even knowing what she was writing.
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What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things.
A memory remains just a tiny spark.
I give it all my oxygen,
So let the flames begin.
So let the flames begin.
Oh, glory.
Oh, glory.
This is how we'll dance when,
When they try to take us down.
This is what will be oh glory.
Somewhere weakness is our strength,
And I'll die searching for it.
I can't let myself regret such selfishness.
My pain and all the trouble caused,
No matter how long
I believe that there's hope
Buried beneath it all and
Hiding beneath it all, and
Growing beneath it all, and...
This is how we'll dance when,
When they try to take us down
This is how we'll sing it.
This is how we'll stand when
When they burn our houses down.
This is what will be oh glory.
Reaching as I sink down into light.
Reaching as I sink down into light.
This is how we'll dance when,
When they try to take us down
This is how we'll sing it.
This is how we'll stand when,
When they burn our houses down.
This is what will be oh glory.
Okkaaaay.Random poem/song thing-a-ma-jig for no reason I just wrote. Gah. I knew I was going to stop writing but I cant at the moment!! I keep wondering things like....How did Drake kill them? He killed me too.... I came back though...I remember being in the TARDIS while I was dead though and asking the Docter if I would be gone for good. Its like a memory from a long time ago though , all fuzzy in my mind... I wonder if he saw me or if I was llike a ghost or something.Haha..
