{B}reak {A}way

[.{.Zeecarian.}.]

I threw a glance at the path behind me.It was covered with leaves and it wove
through the thick forest trees. You coulden't see that path unless you knew it
was there . I smiled happily when I was satisfied that no one had followed me.
I opened the door to my favorite place.A shiver went down my spine as my
hand brushed the small ingraved horse on the door. I had first seen it when I
found this place nearly a year ago. A calm feeling came over me as I stepped
into the small , Club-house sized place before me. It smelled like a stream in a
forest,If there could be a smell for that. The "hideout" was made of old,oak
wood and was still standing strong.Next to the door there was one small
window where light flooded in and made the room bright.In the clearing
around the "Hideout" the grass diden't look like soliders in lines before a
battle like the grass at my house did but they raged like small flames and
were touched by the sunlight that made their green ,
brown , and greyish colors seem to set ablaze. In the fall the flames were
golden-brown in the dull sunlight to match the copper , gold , and red forest.
The forest around the clearing diden't look like a forest. It looked like a the walls
of a room with a murel of a forest painted onto it.It seemed too perfect in an
untamed way that made it so. There was three shelves in the room. On
one shelf was all the books that the librarian gave me everytime they cleaned
the library out. The pages contained tales of girls and wild horses , Horse care
guides , Stories and tales and legends of phantom horses that were there one
moment and gone the next., Of indians and their devoted mounts , Of riding
away in the night , And all the things I wished I could do. On one shelf I only
kept a few things: My savings in a jar , A horse magazine , And a tin with a
horse and buggy on it. On another old shelf was three model horses that i had
carefully bought without my parents knowing at Trash and Treasure markets
and trift stores. One was a whirling black stallion . His coat shined in the
sunlight.Another was a tall bay gelding named Color Me Clever. He was
a famous race horse who had been close to death when his owner found him.
I had read about him in a magazine I bought from the tack store.He was
galloping and it looked like he was reaching for the finish line.
The last one was a little grey mare with a lonely look on her face. She was
in a standing pose with one hoof thingyed and her head lifted like she was
looking for someone in the distance. Prehaps , the mare it was made after
had been waiting for her girl to come to her while standing on a lonely
, old hill in a pasture in the spring time. I had written a story about her.I
had written stories about all of them about what kind of horses I thought they
were.Just little three page stories on some peices of paper.To the far side of
the wall there was two old chairs that had
been here when I found the "hideout". The thing I liked the most in the room
at the time had always been here: A beautiful tapistry of a white unicorn big
enough to covor a door. The tapistry was really raggy and old. Most of the
seams were loose. But to me it was wonderful. A wave of saddness washed
over me as I remembered why I came here. My parents told me that I would have
nothing to do with horses. They hated horses. Once there had been a small
carosel horse on the fireplace when I was little. After my sister died it was
gone. I diden't remember my sister well. I had only been three when she
died. I diden't know why they took the carosel horse away. My sister's
death had nothing to do with horses. She died in a car accident when she
was thirteen. I don't remember much of me being upset about my sister
but being sad that I no longer had someone to play with when she came
home fromboarding school. We weren't very close.But I remember myself
screaming and crying when they took the carosel horse away. I loved that
thing. I used to stare at it and my Mom would lift me to it to trace it's body
with my finger. That was all it remembered about it.I often wondered why
they hated horses and why they took my carosel horse away but it only
led to more confusion on my part. They hated me near them so much I had
never been near to a horse. The little things I had to do with horses were kept
here. But even though I diden't have much horse stuff I always dreamed about
horses by grabbing one of my treasured stories and sitting down in one of the
old chairs and losing myself in the tale. I dropped my backpack in the corner
of the room and began to rumage through it. I had just been to the library and
gone to a tack store , being very careful not to let anyone but the store clerk or
libarian see me.I fished out the books and craddled them like a newborn foal
in the way I had learned from books. I had a story about a girl finding a horse
and one about a girl who lived with wild horses. The titles were "Dreams in
the night" and "Forever free". I wished that I was one of those girls or ,in favor
to being a human , the equine star of the story. I hurried them over to the book
shelf and set them there. I smiled and walked back to my bag. This time i
fished out a dandy brush , A curry comb , And a hoof pick. I had no horse
to use them on but just having them felt like i did. After I set them on the
nearly barren third shelf I fished the real prize out of my bag: My old stuffed
horse , Apple Jack. When I was little my Grandma Alice gave it to me and
I just never told anyone about it. Apple Jack was white , turning brownish
with age. When I was little her eyes had fallen off and my Grandma sewed
buttons on in their place when I was at her house. I had hidden her in my
pillow case and secretly craddled her in the night ,but that was becoming
more and more risky each day. The night before my Mom had been
looking for the phone in my room and she almost saw her.I set her on the
chair next to the one I read in and said:

"There , now that already feels better than a pillow case , dosen't it?"

I gathered the grooming tools off the shelf and set them on my chair as I
kneeled and went through all the steps of grooming a horse on Apple
Jack. I had never done this to a horse but I had read entire books about
it. When I was sure that I would have made a real horse gleam I put the tools
back on the shelf. I picked up a book called "Midnight ride" . And I settled
down in my chair and opened to the first page.
I was just getting to the good part of the book when I froze. I heard something
outside.It sounded like.... like a horse. I got up and carelessly dropped my book
to the floor , Which really wasen't like me at all. I was like a puppet being controlled
by a puppeteer. I walked outside on my strings to the back of the clearing. I froze
and waited for something to happen.Nothing did. No horse. But even when the
sounds were gone I still stood and waited. Just waited for something to happen.
Something. Anything. I stood for about ten minutes.I started to walk away to go
back inside when I heard angry snorting sounds and flashs of white through the trees.
I was sure that there was a horse. And there was. A flash of white color burst out
at me and I fell to the ground. I froze and my eyes widdened. Above me a light ,
almost white , grey stallion reared. His teeth were bared and he had a dangeress
glint in his brown-black eye. His hooves came down in a fury. I ducked and
dodged and rolled away from the impounding hooves. .I rolled and barely escaped
being hit in the face with a hoof,Or so I thought at the time.Blood trickled down the
side of my cheek. Even though his hoof had only grazed my cheek it still stung. What
does he want? Why is he attacking me? I thought franticly Then it hit me. There on
the ground I looked like a predator. Not good. A stallion would trample a predator
to death and that was what he was trying to do to me. I stood tall. Most people
woulden't have done this. But atleast I diden't look like a crouching cougar anymore.
He pawed. His eyes were brimming with anger , That dangeress glint still in his eyes like
a hot coal. His chest rose up and down with his deep breathing , ivory forelock covering one
of his shadowed eyes.

"Shhh. It's okay , boy. I won't hurt you. Shhh." I said in the sweetest tone I could
muster.

Now I certainly did not seem like a threat. . . Thankfully he seemed calmed by
my voice. I talked about school , my lack of friends , my secret place, how
much I wanted to be around horses, and sometimes random nonsense. But he
listend. He stood , still tense , but no longer trying to hurt me.His coals were
now smoldering to ash. Something about the stallion looked familer. He was
a silver white. Then from the forest deepths a mare and foal came carefully
from the forest beyond the clearing. My heart skipped a beat. This coulden't
be happening , but it was happening. I felt like a person from one of my books.
I countiued talking as I obsevred the mare and foal. The mare was small with
a dished face like an arabians'. She was a bay with a white drizzle down her
face. Her colt was bay and white. It looked like he was a bay that had white
paint splashed on him. Then in an instant,The stallion signaled his herd to leave
and he followed them. They left me standing there in the clearing wondering if
what had happened really did in fact happen. I saw a white strand laying in the
clearing. It was one hair from the stallions mane.I picked it up and clutched it in
my hand. I walked back to my "hideout". Once I was inside I wrapped the
strand up and put in a tin with the horse and buggy on it Then , I set the tin on a
spare spot next to the model horses.
********************************************************
"Goodbye , Apple Jack ". I said and , I can't believe i am telling you , a
complete stranger , this , I softly kissed her on her white muzzle. I picked
up my backpack and tried not to put Apple Jack into it's deepths. About
twenty mintutes later , after fighting the branchs of the trees that tried to
grab me and take me back into them , I found myself walking down a
small country road. I had never taken this way to get home , But a few
mintutes after walking down it I was glad I had. A few yards after a
bend in the road was a tall appaloosa mare in a big ,green pasture. I
almost ran to her , but diden't want her to shy. I walked up calmly and
pet her velvety nose and stroked her neck. I don't know how long a
stood there petting her , talking to her , and just watching her under the
fading sun. The sunlight made her white blanket over her rump seem
whiter and it pulled the color that was hiding in each strand out of the
surface of the rest of coat and she almost looked golden red .I guess
I was there a long time because I stayed until the sun was growing low.
So regrettingly I walked on. I jogged over the roads to my house and
slowed a little when I saw it. The lights that were shining brightly
though the windows invited me. I ran up to the door and knocked.

"Who is it?" I heard my Dad ask from the other side of the door.

"Dad! It's me Kira."

"Hmmm , Kira. Never heard of her."

"Dad..."

"Ok Kira."

He opened the door and I hugged him.

"How was your hike?"

"Good."

"What happened to your cheek?"

"Oh..."

I thouched the cut like I needed to be reminded.It stung and I pulled
my hand away from it.

"I fell and got cut."

"Come on let's go wash it."

My Dad took me to the kichen sink and sponged it lightly with
a peice of cotten.I whinced a little.

"I'm sorry , Does that hurt?"

"No , It just stings a little."

He nodded and said okay.A dab of ontiment was put on it and a
soft bandage was , too.

"Thanks Dad!" I said as I ran off to my room.

"Sure thing."

While I started to dash to my room I spun around on my heel
as I heard my Mom say:

"Dinner is ready."

We all walked the the table and sat.I put my backpack next to my
chair.

"Kira ! What happened to your cheek?"My Mom asked with
a glint of concern in her green eyes.

"Uhhhh.."I said unimpersivly.

What had I told my Dad? I coulden't have two explimantions
floating around.

"She fell on her hike and cut it. It's not too deep."My Dad
answered her.

I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I was safe. With that , Our
conversion moved on.We laughed and joked around.I did
so half-heartedly though because my mind was still on the
horses from the clearing.

"Kira?Kira?Earth calling Kira!" I heard my Dad say jokingly.

"Huh , yeah?Sorry , just a little sidetracked."

"I asked if you wanted to have some ice cream for dessert."

"Sure!"

My Mom gave me a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

"Thanks Mom!"

"Your welcome."

Me and my parents ate our dessert and I kissed my parents good
night , grabbed my backpack and ran up to my room.I changed into
my night gown and threw myself onto my bed. All I could think about
as I lay on my bed was the Appaloosa mare , the stallion , and his
small herd. I needed names for the wild horses. The colt would be
Splash. The mare would be Saber. I liked those names. They
suited them well.But I coulden't seem to think of a name for the
stallion. He seemed too ..... wild to have a name. I thought about
him rearing over me. I had been scared , But strangly happy. That
was the first time I had seen a horse that close. No , He coulden't
have a name. The world seemed to only contain him and me in the
moments we spent alone in the clearing. I supposed that we wern't
really alone because Splash and Saber had been watching from the
trees. But it felt like we were the only beings in the forest , In the town
, In the state . In the country ,And in the world. I could only think of
those brown eyes staring at me one moment ,Burning like hot coals,
acusing me , then taking me in , then disapearing into the thick trees
that seemed to swollow him and his herd. I fell asleep thinking of
them: The stallion , Saber , Splash , and the appaloosa mare.
When I woke i found myself feeling happier that I usaully was.
I grabbed my backpack .I pranced down the hall to the rest
of the house like a horse doing the piaffe.

"Mourning Mom. Mourning Dad."

"Good mourning Kira."My Mom said while sipping coffe
and eating a peice of toast.

"Kira , There is some eggs on the stove for you."My Dad
said , only looking up fromhis Sunday paper for a moment.

"Thanks."

I ate some eggs and made a sandwich for later and stuffed
it in my backpack.

"Mom , Dad i'm going for a hike."

"Okay , Just don't be late again."My mom called after me
as I ran out the door.

"Okay..."I yelled when I ran.

I was in high spirits as a ran as fast as I could on small dirt
roads that no one ever used - but me. I came apon an apple
tree and being the tom boy that I was i went up it like a squirell
and shook it's branchs. I counted them. Eighteen apples. That
was odd because it was summer and not at all apple season. But
they were small , which was not suprising. I stuffed them in my
near empty backpack and "cantered" along the road until I
crossed a vacent field to the street that the mare was on. I went
along the road and for the first time i noticed the gentle slop in
it. I noticd it because now I had a heavy load in my pack.
When i reached the mare I welcomed her breath being blown
on my face. Her breath was warm and smelt of carrots and suger
cubes. "Ahhh , so you are a spoiled old gal , are you?" I said in a
teasing tone. She nodded her head. I knew that she was just
probably just moving an unseen fly or bug on her face that made
her do so , but I laughed. As i looked at her again I knew that
she was waiting for an apple. So I merrily gave her an apple as
I stepped onto the old wooden fence. She was a tall mare.
Maybe about 16 hands high. I watched her crunching the apple
in her teeth. She nosed me for more. But I diden't want to make
her sick from too many treats. I looked around me. No one
was coming. I climed the fence and hopped it . She nuzzled me
and I patted her.Soon we lay down on the lush grass in her large
pasture . She lay down and I leaned against her silkly shoulder.
She rested her head on my lap. I smiled as we fell asleep.
**********************************************
"Hello." Said a strange voice that woke me from my happy sleep.
I had been dreaming of riding the mare I was laying with. I jumped
to my feet.

"I'm sorry , I shoulden't be here." I said in a pleading tone.

I looked at the girl. She was about 12 , My age. She was wearing jeans
, A t-shirt that had two horses galloping on it , And some paddock boots.
Her pale face had a warm smile on it. Her blue eyes seemed to be laughing
and her face was framed by a black hairs that had come lose from her pony
tail.

"It's alright.Red Hawk needed the company while i was gone for the weekend."
The girl said in a causal tone.

I diden't know what to say or do. So I just kept queit.

"I'm Stevie. So whats your name?" She asked still with that warm smile on
her face.

"I'm Kira." I heard myself say.

"Well , Hello Kira." She said.

"Your mare , Red Hawk , Is wonderful." I said admiring the tall mare who
had then gotten up to graze under a cotten tree.

"Thanks , She is." She said with a far away smile on her face.

"Would you like to ride her?" She inquired.

I could feel my eyes growing big.

"Really?"I said. "But I was in your pasture with your horse without
premisson!" I said.

" Exactly. You have to love horses if you hopped a fence onto private
proporty just to be with one." Stevie said now with a smug smile on her
face.She was obviously stubborn.

"But i'v never ridden." I said in a some what sad tone.

"Oh thats alright , Red here is as gentle as a girl thingy cat."

I smiled.

"Are you sure?" I asked one more time.

"Yes!"

I now noticed the halter and lead rope in her hand. She caught Red
quickly as we went to the small barn on the other side of the big pasture.
After we tied her in a quick release knot we groomed her in silence.
After that I carefully put an english saddle and saddle pad one her back
as Stevie put a bit in her mouth and pulled reins over her head. She flexed
Red's front legs to make sure that no skin was caught under the saddle.
After that she led me to a corral near the barn.She opened the gate carefully
and swung it inwards all the way so me and Red could come in

[.{.Zeecarian.}.]

.We
began to walk steadily around the corral.I didn't know what to do. I
was a bit stif in the saddle. I felt out in the open and uncomfortable.That
suprised me because I had always wanted to ride. Was it not as great as
I thought?

"Kira, relax try to go with Red's movements. It will make it alot easier.

I sat deep in the saddle and let myself go with the push and pull of the
four time pace and soon I felt at one with Red. I liked Red's walk. It
was steady and fluid. It was a bit coppy , but only a little bit. Stevie
still lead me by the reins. Red seemed uninterested in what was going
on around her.

"Would you like to take the reins now , Kira?"

"Okay!"I said eagarly.

We stopped breifly and she took the reins over Red's head and
handed them to me. I held them in my hands and grasped them
flatly. I was doing it all wrong.

"Hold them like they are ice cream cones you don't
want to drop." Stevie instructed me.

"Ok..."

I didn't know what she meant. I fiddled around with them until
I figured it out.

"Oh , I get it."

"Good."

"What do it do?"

"Nudge her sides gently with your heals."

"Okay."

I did and Red went into a walk. Stevie walked beside me for
about five minutes. Then she stood in the middle of the arena
and told me what to do. From there she could better see
my mistakes and helping me fix them.

"It's time for Red's lunch."Stevie told me.

"Ok."

I knew what that meant. It was time to get off.

"How do I tell her to stop?"

"Say:Whoa."

"Whoa." I told Red.

She did what I asked her to. She stopped. I dismounted lightly.
I took the reins over her head.

"Nice first ride!"Stevie told me with a grin.

Stevie took her back to the barn. After we untacked her , picked
her hooves, Fed and watered her , and turned her out to pasture
we ran to Stevie's house.We burst through the door , Laughing.
Her eyes light up whenever she laughed. They seemed clear blue
like the water of a pool.

"Mom?"Stevie called as we walked in her kitchen.

It was a big , airy kitchen with a big window above the sink
that was open and brought in fresh , green air. The sink had
no dishes in it. , The refrigirater had drawings of Red on it
(Those ones were clearly done by Stevie!) and badly done
drawings of sea shells. I stopped and looked at them. Stevie's
art was good. Really good.She saw me looked at them.

"The sea shell ones are Emily's. She is my little sister. She
loves the ocean and collects shells."Stevie explained.

"Thats cool."

I walked away from them. There was a big , round , pine
table in the middle of the white tiles. The surface was
glossy and polished looking.

"Mom!"Stevie called again.

When no one answered Stevie said:

"I guess no one is home. Want some juice and a sandwhich?"

"Sure."

We ate and drank then we spent more time with Red. After
that we said goodbye and I walked to Greensville mall.
I walked quickly down a small road to Greensville mall. It wasen't
really amall that was just what most people called the little town.I
thought of Stevie and Red. I loved that mare. She was so willing
and was very sweet. Stevie was so nice not to freak out when
she found me. It could only be considered generous that she let
me ride.My thoughts were broken at the sound of a cheery
voice near me.

"Well , hello Kira!"I heard a plesant voice call from across the street.

I turned to see my neighbor , Gladice. She was a plesant round
woman who was always in high spirits.

"Hi Gladice.How is your goat doing?"

"Oh Sugar is doing fine. She'll birth anyday now."

"Thats great."

She smiled , Waved , then walked on. I did the same. Everyone in
Greensville knew eachother. The population was about three thousand.
I walked along a pasture filled with cattle held in by a old , wooden fence.
I kept power walking until I reached Greensville mall. I could see
Petaploosa store , Debie's Salon ,and Green groceries.I walked through
until I saw the library. I turned left to it and ran up the small steps and went
through the double doors.My empty backpack swung loosly on my back
while I walked to the front desk. Rows of booksheves filled with books
were set up like domonos everywhere. Only a few people were there
that day. Ms.Greggery and her daughter Madison were there. Ms.Greggery
was reading a thick novel , While her daughter was reading a
flimsy magazine. When I arrived at the front desk Ms.Rushmore looked
up from her files with a businuss like smile.

"How may I help you......Oh hello Kira."

Her cold smile turned into a warm , Friendly one that made her dull ,
blue eyes light up.

"Hey Ms.Rushmore. Do you have any...."

"Books?"She cut me off.

"Yeah."

"Well , today they were trying to throw out a saddle club and a black
stallion book and I thought a certain horse crazy girl would like them."She
said with a smile and handed me the books.

"Thanks Ms.Rushmore."

"Your welcome sweetie. Now run along and enjoy your books."

"Bye , Thanks again."I said as I jogged out of the library while shoving
the books in my backpack.

When I came back outside sweet , country air greeted me. The sun
shone on my face and I smiled. It was a perfect day.I ran over to
the arts and crafts store. When I came in I saw Julie. Julie was
a girl from school. We weren't really friends , But we were friendly.

"Hi Julie."

"Hey Kira."

We said as we brushed past eachother. I passed through an isle.
Sitckers. Paper. Markers. Pencils. Sketchbooks! I looked at the
few selcetionsof sketchbooks. There was a small one and a larger
one. I grabbed the biggerone and made my way back down the isle
when a bright yellow box caught my eye. I picked it up. It said:"
sixteen different types of pencils."I brought the box with me to the
clerk. I diden't reconize him. He must be new I thought.

"So how you doing today?"He asked with a smile as he scanned and

bagged my things.

"Good. Beautiful day.You?"

"Not too bad.That will be thirty five dollars please."

I dug into my pocket and pulled a twenty and a fifthteen dollar bill
and handed them to him.

"Thank you have a nice day."

"You too."

When I came outside I shoved the stuff into my backpack. The tack
storewas a few stores away , But I wanted to get to the clearing so
I quickly ran off and jumped a pasture fence to take a short cut. I
ran across the green grass and a few cows looked up lazily at me.
Eventaully , I reached the road Red was on but she wasen't there.
I wanted to go see if Stevie was home but I needed to get my
things to the "hideout". I saw an apple tree so I stopped and through
my backpack to the ground. I climbed up it like a squrriel and shook
it's branchs. When I came back down I counted them. Eighteen apples.
Which was odd because it was summer. But they were small.I stuffed
them in my backpack and swung it over my shoulder again.I ran
around the bend in the road until I reached the forest and dove into it
. I zig zagged throught the trees unil I reached the clearing and went inside.
********************************************************
I smiled happily. I was drawing Red Hawk laying in the pasture with
a peaceful look on her face. I had drawn many other drawings in the
sketchbook. I drew the stallion , Splash , and Saber.They were in
front of a big oak tree. Splash was suckling and Saber was streatching
out her neck to pear out at whoever was there.The stallion was in front
of them with his teeth bared. I drew a protrait of his face ,too.There
were lots of kinds of pencils in the big yellow box of pencils: A soft ,
barley visable one, A dark one I liked to draw eyes with , And
every thing inbetween the two. I only had five dollors left and I
planned on saving for a table that I saw at a garge sale. It was fifthteen
dollors. I drew the rest of Red Hawk's mane and tail. I drew a few
blades of grass pokig over her forelegs with a soft pencil and then
wrote her name in big bold letters. It was perfect now if i do say so
myself. I went over to my backpack and got my roll of tape. I
carefully ripped the picture of Red Hawk out of the sketchbook
and taped it to the wall along with the other drawings and put the
sketchbook with all my other books. I sat down in my chair and
thought of the stallion and his family.

"Wild horses don't live in forests , Do they? ." I said to Apple Jack.

I was confused. Was there a secret herd?No. People from nearby ranchs
had declared that all the herds were gone. All but one. I thought with a
smug smile playing on my lips. Thinking of the stallion and his family I rememebered the
apples That were still in my backpack. I grabbed my backpack and
ran outside to put the apples behind the "hideout" I placed them in
piles and hoped that the stallion and his family would come. So I lay
in the clearing and waited. I diden't mean to , but I fell asleep.
I opened my eyes. I could see the stallion coming from the trees.
I got up.

"Hey boy." I said as he came from the trees followed by Saber
and Splash.

He froze. I froze. Saber and Splash froze. The world seemed
as still as mourning snow that no one had yet stepped on.

"It's just me. Remember me? It is alright eat your apples."

I talked about Red Hawk , Stevie , My parents , The sketchbook
, And about my first ride.

"It was wonderful. Red Hawk would obey the slightest command ,
But could be controled by the touch of a finger."

Finally , He put his head down to graze and eat apples like
Splash and Saber had. I watched and kept talking. I talked about
everything I could think about. I hardly noticed him stepping closer
to me. He came and sniffed me. I talked more. My heart pounded.
He was then only a foot away! I lifted my hand to pet his muzzle. Bad
move. I got a kick in the leg.

"Ow!"I shouted.

That was a bad move too. He and his family spooked. I held my
leg. I doubted that they would come back. I felt like crying for
two reasons as they left: My leg and that they would never come back.
***************************************************
I walked towards the area that they had left to an hour
earlier. I could see faint hoof prints in the dark earth.
A petite set of cantering tracks had been left by Saber , some small ones
by Splash , And the stallions had cut the earth in larger ovals. They were
clean cut and he had been cantering behind his family , I saw by brushing
leaves away from the ground they had been on. I spent a long time looking
at the tracks.When I looked up the sun shined in my eyes , tall over
the trees and mountions , ruling over them as king of the land.I used my hand as
a visor, sendng a shadow over my pale face. Standing back up , I walked into the forest.
I picked along , looking at clues to where they had been, like the spot where
a bush had a freshly broken branch and on spot where a small pool of water
had been stepped in , sending water piling around it's edges. Soon the forest
was thinning away to another place. The trees were starting to look like just
that, only trees and not armies of tall giants. Through the trees gentle
shafts of light were making their way through into the forest. The rays touched my
skin , warming it. I could see a place beyond the forest now. A big , open ,
green space. I began to jog to the place beyond . It seemed to
take years to get there even when it was only seconds. I gasphed when I
saw the fields. A vast span of earth was before me , covered with wild , green
grass that swayed in the slight breeze , like a newborn foal first standing on it's
shaky, young legs. Sun was high over the large hills that framed the
back of the fields. The rolling hills gently sloped into one another , sun
gentlly shined 'pon them. The beauty of the scene alone was wonderful , but even more wonderful
was that in the distance three horses dotted a small hill. They were saulted
against the gentle fadin sunlight like a stained glass painting. The stallion was
standing proudly in the distance over his family.He was taller than Saber
by a few hands. Saber seemed to be made of dark chococlate. She was
standing with her head on the stallion's back. Splash was laying down
in the soft grass , sleeping peacfully. The sweetness of the moment
moved me incredibly . I smiled , Knowing that they were safe here.
That was an old cow pasture that had all the fences torn down many years
ago. It was owned by Mr. Henderson. People always told him to sell it.
They told him that it was no good for him anymore now that no livestock
that was kept there. But now I understood why he never let anyone come here.
I thought that he was just a crazy old man along with everyone else. I
was wrong, We were all wrong. He knew about them. But he didn't capture
them or bother them. I admired him for that. The stallion stood alert. His
nostrils flared. He could smell my scent. I smiled. Okay boy , you win. I'm
leaving. I turned away with a secret smile , back into the maze of trees.
Making my way through the trunks , I silently vowed to tell no one of
his home. Not even Stevie. Not even Red Hawk. This was silly , but not
even Apple Jack. Still fighting branchs , I started to see the clearing
through the tree . I picked up my pace. When I burst from the
grasp of the trees it felt like coming up to the surface after being underwater for a
long time. The wild grass was up to my ankles , poking up over my faded
blue jeans. I sighed contently. Even though I would've loved to stay there,
watching the stallion and his family in their home , for them the vast,
rolling plain was like my hideout. It was a secret place for them only
to enjoy and relax in. So I had respected that and left. My feet carried me
over the tall grasses , back to the hideout. Once inside I tossed off my shoes
by the door and went to the bookshelf. My fingers ran along it , looking
for a book on wild horses. I looked through the books more. Silent night.
Pony Paradise. The black stallion. Saddle club books. Horse care guides.
Yes!A book on wild horses. I grabbed it so quickly that I sent a shower of
books all over the wooden floor , dropping the one about wild horses
as well and losing it in the pile of about fifty books. I leaned down
and picked them up five at a time. They weren't oraganized by chapter
books , information books , and series books anymore , but I decided
to fix that later. I put away the books as quickly as I could , frantic to
read up on wild horses. When every book was back on the shelf I picked
up the wild horse book and sat in my chair. Opening it I went to the
table of contents. i ran my finger down it until I found the page that
invoriments were on. Page eighty six. I flipped to the page and read.
'WIld horses can live anywhere from a beach to a plain or field to
a mountion. They are very versitile beings capable of living in places
even such as swamp land. ' I stopped reading. That was all I needed
to know. They did live in fields and plains. I was so excited. There
were wild horses right near me! How could I not have seen them in
the year I had been coming there?
*******************************
A month and a half had passed and I still haden't seen them. But
I was happy as I ran through the forest to Stevie's house, Not
even caring about the branchs that scrathed my skin .I had been
coming to her house almost everyday. One week I would ride
Red Hawk.(Or "Red" as we called her.) The next she would ride.
We had become best friends:Me , Red , And Stevie. We were
each others only friends. Stevie had to go away for the weekend
every two weeks to visit her Dad , But I gladly took care of of
Red for her. On these days I would climb into the pasture and
spend time with her. When Stevie was away she let me keep
Red's everyday halter in my backpack so I woulden't need to
go to the barn and get talked to death by her chatty little sister
who was almost impossible to shake off. Being there was wonderful.
Today was one of the days that Stevie was gone. She would be
coming back later tonight. I began to slow to a walk as I could
see the bend in the road and I came to Red. She had her
head over the fence and was waiting for me. I jogged a little
to her and quickly hopped over the fence. I greated her happily
and pet her muzzle. I got her an apple from by backpack and fed
it to her.

"Eww!"

She had chewed the apple then shook her head and apple juice ,
Bits of grass , And horse slober was splatered on me. I diden't really
mind , Though. She did it every single day.I was pretty used to it by
then. I slipped the red halter over her head and scratched her ears.
Today was the day I would ride Red alone for the first time ever.
Stevie's Mom and Dad (Who had come for a visit.) had been worried
but Stevie ,In her stubbern , Stevieish nature , Dragged them to the
corral to see me ride. After I rode and me and Stevie took care of
Red they talked it over.They had been satisfied and granted premisson
to ride. Me and Stevie did a silly little dance and ran off to hang out in
the tack room. I led Red , Who came happily because coming inside
meant we were riding and riding meant a half bucket of oats , To the
barn. I groomed her while humming a song. She fell asleep during
her grooming. I woke her before I put a saddle on her. I had
become an expert at tightening girths and slipping bits into mouths.
Ten minutes later I steared myself through the middle of the arena.
Her walk was lazy and short strided, it tt walk.urns out the day I
had first ridden her she just decided that she was going to have a
great walk. I signaled her to trot. Her trot
was something else. She glided like a hawk in flight. I saw , Felt
actaully , Why her name was Red Hawk. One part was that she
had a blood baybase color and the other , well just keep reading.
She picked up her feet highly and felt ten years younger.Her trot
was ghostly and haunting like a mocking birds' call.It edged on
being an extended trot. She loved to trot. As we turned my hair
blew a little.I hated to leave her amazing trot ,But she haden't
been ridden in two weeks and needed to get some energy out
of her.Me and Stevie had been busy getting ready for a summer
pony club show , cleaning tack , looking at new grooming tips ,
and well you don't need anymore reasons do you and your getting
bored a little with my rambling now aren't you? We went into a
light canter and I rocked to it. I had learned to ride fast.We had
never spoken of this: Stevie was a good teacher to me , But inside
we both knew that Red was the best teacher I could get.My hair
blew some in the air as we cantered.I loved her rythm. You
could depend on it like the sun at sunrise. She was seventeen years old ,
but in motion she was a five year old mare. We cantered for ten
minutes and I had a growingfeeling inside me. We glided in her
trot for a while and then she slowed to her choppy walk.Then she
decided that she was done and stopped dead in her tracks.She
was almost like Stevie in every way , Espeicaly the stubborn as
a mule part. I laughed lightly.Like Stevie , aguing with her wasen't
worth it. I dismounted and took her reins over her head. I led her
to a tying ring and did the halter under her bridle in a quick release
knot. She snorted as if to say "Could you get this saddle off of me
already?" I obeyed "her magesty's" command and took off the saddle
and bridle. Afterwards I used a sweat scraper on her and picked her
hooves. I sighed happily hoping that nothing would spoil this arrangment.
I wasen't lucky enough for that.
******************************************************
My cell phone rang and the caller ID reveiled that Stevie was calling
me. I pressed talk and said :

"Hello your Steviesty."

"Hello , My royal slave."She said holding a giggle under a regal tone.

We both burst out laughing.

"Run Kira!" I heard her dad call from the background. I giggled a little
and told Stevie to tell him that I was loyal to my master. When she did I
heard his bellowing laugh.

"So did you have an amazing weekend on your Dad's ranch?"

"Yeah I rode Prince!"

"You did?"

Prince was a mustang that her Dad had adopted from the BLM five months
ago.

"Yep. He was amazing! He is spirited. But that's what I like!"

We chated about her ride on Prince , The new foal at the ranch, and a
tack shop where she got a new show shirt. She said that it was light
blue with fake pearl bottons.

"I still can't believe that you , dressage diva extrodonare , Are going to
ride western in the pony club show!"I said.

"Hey! You forget I spend my time at my Dad's ranch as a full fledged
cowgirl!"

"*cough* *cough* dressage diva!*cough*"

"You are hopeless!" Stevie said through her giggles.

"I have a suprise when I come home." Stevie said teasing me.

"What? Tell me!"

"Suprise."Said , Dangling the word in the air.

"Are you trying to talk your cell phones dead girls? " Her Dad asked in
the background.

"Gotta go Kira!"

"See ya later your Steviesty."I joked.

"Yes you will my royal slave."She joked back.

"Bye."

"Bye."

Click. She hung up.

An hour later I ran over to the car as it pulled up to Stevie's house.

"Stevie!"

"Hey Kira!"

"So where is the big suprise?"

"My Dad is staying for dinner!"

"Awesome!"

She hoped out of the car and hugged me.

I noticed her arm. It was in a cast and it hung limply in it.

"Stevie! Your arm! What happened?"

"Did I mention that when I rode Prince I had an accident?"She grinned

"No , You convenently left that part out!"

"No biggie."

"No biggie? No biggie? Stevie you were cryin' buckets a' tears!"Her
Dad , Mr.Parker , Bellowed and began to laugh.

I laughed ,too. So did Stevie. So coulden't miss the chance to laugh. Ever.
Evenat herself.

"Come on , Dad , Let's go see Red!"

We followed her to the barn.

"Mr.Parker , Does she always powerwalk?"I asked as we jogged after her.

"Yup! Better believe it!"

"I knew it!"I said.

"Stevie! Slow down! We don't have foal legs like you!"Mr.Parker yelled
to her.

She slowed a little,But only a little. When we reached the barn I sensed a
father-daughter bonding moment and made myself busy in the tack room
cleaning saddles. I cleaned a everyday english saddle , A show saddle ,
A beautiful dressage saddle , and I was really suprised when I found a
beautiful glossy , oranate , western saddle. I diden't know she owned one.
I rubbed my hand against it and felt the swirls in it. It was well oiled and
looked like it had just been cleaned.

"Go cowgirl."I whispered.

"It was my grandma's ."I heard Stevie say.She startled me.

"Hey Stevie. I love this saddle!"

"So do I."She said , smiling.

"Where'd your Dad go?"

"He went to go clean himself up."

"Ok."

"Come on, Red thinks you don't like her anymore!"

We went and spoiled Red with treats of hugs , kisses , pats ,
strokes , apples , and kind words. We told her that she was beautiful.
That we loved her. And that we would love her forvever. All of those
things were true. Red just stood there with her head low and her eye lids
dropping. She would nicker a few times for us.We groomed her and fed
her some more hay. Soon she began to fall asleep. We whispered a few
goodnights and a few i love yous in her fuzzy ears and crept out of her stall.
It was 7:00pm and we were having an late dinner. I had called my Mom
earlier and told her that I was staying for dinner. As we ate dinner everyone
laughed and joked . We had turky and mashed potatos. Ms.Parker was a
great cook. She made a batch of cookies and they were the best chocolate
chip cookies that I had ever tasted. We thanked her for dinner and waved
goodbye to Mr.Parker as he left. He and Ms.Parker had devorced and he
had started his own ranch called Freedom Ranch where he captured and
raised mustangs. After that we ran up
the Stevie's room. We instead of talking about teen fashion , makeup ,
and boys we talked about horse fashions(for horses) , grooming supplies
for horses , and a really cute stallion on tV.

"Call your Mom and ask if you can stay the night and i'll go ask my Mom."

"Ok!"I said.

"I'll be right back."Stevie said.

I dialed my Mother's number on my cell phone.

"Hello?"I heard my Moms' voice in a cheery tone.

"Hey Mom."

"Oh , Hi honey . When are you coming home?"

"Mom , Can I stay at Stevie's tonight?"

"Sure! I'll come by with all of your stuff. I'll have to get your toothbrush ,
Some clothes , Oh and ......"

[.{.Zeecarian.}.]

"Mom!" I cut her off.

"I'm staying one night. Not the whole summer."

"Okay."

"I love you ,Mom."

"Love you , Too."

"Bye."

"Bye."
*******************************
Stevie burst into the room.

"She said yes!"

"So did my Mom."

"Yes!" We both said at the same time and gave eachother high fives.

My mom came by and brought my stuff. Thankfully , She diden't see
the barn.

Half an hour later her parents went to bed and we stayed up talking

"Stevie , Can I tell you something?"I coulden't believe I was going to tell
her my secret about the stallion and the hideout.

"Sure , You can tell me anything."

"You have to promise never to tell anyone because it is important."

"I promise."

"You have to swear on horses."

"I swear on horses."

I told her about the hideout and the reason I had to keep my stuff there.

"That is so cool."

"Not it's not. I can't keep my horse stuff anywhere but there. My parents
would freak if they knew that I am riding almost everyday." I said.

"That stinks."

"You have no idea.There is something else too."

"What?"

"You can't tell anyone."

"I won't."

I took a long , deep breath like I was about to go under water for a
long time.

"There is a stallion. He comes to me in the cleairng at the "hideout"."

"Oh my gosh! No way! Are you serious?"

"Yes ,Of course , I woulden't lie about him."

"What is his name?"

"He dosen't have one. I just call him "the stallion". But his mare and
foal do."

"Mare and foal?There is a mare and foal? Are they cute? What are
their names?

What do they look like? Can you ride the mare or stallion?!"

"Their names are Splash and Saber. The mare is Saber and the
colt is Splash.Yes , they are cute. Saber has an dished face with a
race down it. She is a dark bay. I think she is about five. Splash is
a bay and white pinto and is really sweet looking. He is about two
months old.And no I can't ride ethier Saber or the stallion. They are wild."

"That is SO cool! What about the stallion?"

I knew that I spaced out for a second at the mention of the stallion.
The stallion. My beautiful stallion. No not mine. Never mine. Never
anyones. She was now staring at me with impacient eyes , waiting
for an answer. I finally spoke.

"He is pure white.He has a silver sheen in the sunlight. His mane is
tangled with weeds.His tail touchs the ground. He is very protective
of his family. He has brown-black eyes.I almost pet him."

Those four words sounded far away. They traced back to the clearing
and back to the stallion.

"That is awesome!"

"I haven't seen him in a month and a half."

"I'm sorry."

We chated a for about twenty more minutes then we setled down
to watch Spirit:Stallion of the chimmeron on her tv.

"Kira?"

"Yeah?"I said with my eyes still glued to the tv.

"Could you show me your secret clubhouse, If it's a clubhouse than
you need a club. Iknow that it is your secret , But could it be OUR secret?"

"I would love to take you there , But my Mom is picking me up a 7am
tomorrow."

"I know , That is why we are going right now."

"Are you crazy!?"

"Well.."

"I know , I know. HORSE crazy."

She stood there with the we-are-doing-what-I-want look.I knew
I had lost.

"Fine , We'll go."
*********************************************
We krept down the porch steps with my backpack filled with
some snacks , Extra flashlights , and a few other things. In the
place of us we left pillows under our blankets.I was worried ,
But Stevie got to me and I started to giggle as we hopped the
pasture fenceand ran across the grass to the road. When we
reached the next fence we climbed over it and found ourselves
on the road. It wasen't till now we spoke.

"Where do we go from here?"Stevie asked.

"Follow me."

I took the way to the forest quickly. I knew it very well by now.
Our feet pattered on dew covered grass. She followed me like a
car following a road. When we reached the forest she paused.

"It's dark."

I then remembered our flashlights. It suprised me that even in our
excitment that we forgot them.I pulled two flashlights out of my
backpack and handed one to her. I walked into the forest.We
directed our beams on the ground ahead of us.Normaly I would
have just torn through the close set trees , But now it was night
and Stevie was here. We slowly picked up pace until we were
running. Then , Suddenly we burst into the clearing and came to
an abrupt stop. We froze in the clearing.

"Is this it?"

"And how many of these do you think is in this forest?"

That was enough of an answer for her. We went into the clubhouse
(Since I guess it was now a club.) She stood for a moment. She
traveled her flashlight over the shelves , Over the model horses ,
Over the chairs , Over the floor , And she paused for a long
moment when her beam found the unicorn tapistry.

"It's beautiful in here."

I was utterly stumped by her words. Beautiful? How could this
place be beautiful to her? Of course it was beautiful to me. I had
spent many hours in the friendly silence. Reading , Thinking ,
Writing , Drawing , And just escaping the world. But it did need
words of people in it. The laughter of friends. It did need some
other sounds besides my breathing and me talking to Apple Jack.

"Uh , Thanks."

"We should make a club. A horse club. We will meet here once
every two weeks. We'll call it..... The silver stallion club." Stevie's
words tumbled over eachother , Excited to escape the mind that
imprisoned them.

"Sure!"

The silver stallion club. It was almost perfect. Almost except for the
fact that I thought that the stallion would never come again.

"Let's go.We have been gone for half an hour. Do you want your
sneaky little sister finding out we aren't there?"

"Yeah , Emily might come into my room again ."

So we walked out of the clubhouse , Which now could be called a
clubhouse now.

We both walked out of the clubhouse in silence. The moon would
soon be a sun. We started to pick up our pace because of this.
Then we stopped because we saw something.Something white.
Something with a silver sheen. The stallion. The stallion lifted his
headhigh in a silet grace. He was at the edge of the forest. His
mane was matted with bursand weeds. He had barly visable
scars on his body like trophies of his wildness. His eyes shone
like stars in the night sky. He stood. I could hear my heart
beating. Tump. Tump.Tump. Tump. I stared and let my eyes
drink him in like a sweet , fruity drink. His skin twitched. His
body tensed.

"Hey boy. It's me. Kira."

He flicked his ears towards my voice. That feeling of being completly
alone with him settled in again. Stevie wasen't there. The forest wasen't
there. The town wasen't there.The state wasen't there. The country
wasen't there. The world wasen't there.Nothing was there.But we
were there.

"Hey boy. Where is Splash and Saber?"

I heard another horse call him. Saber. He turned his head. He cantered
away back into the wall of trees. He left no trace. It was like he was
never there.

"Kira?"She said with a stunned look on her face.

"Yeah?"

"He's beautiful!"

I grinned. "I know."

I was so happy to know that the stallion haden't left for good.I can't even
explain to you how happy I was.We ran through the forest , down the road
, around the bend , over the fence , across there pasture , up the steps , into
the house , into bed. But we diden't necissarly get sleep. Not much of it anyway.

[.{.Zeecarian.}.]

We woke in the same happy mood as I did the first night I saw the stallion.
We woke at 5:00am to an alarm clock. We dressed quickly, ran to the
kitchion , made and ate breakfast and then dashed out to the barn. We were
happy to see Red as we came into the barn. We had each brought an apple
with us. She happily accepted the juicy treats. I laughed as her velvety lips
brushed against my hand. We scattered to start the mourning care of Red.
Stevie groomed Red with her unfractured wrist while I ran off to get a bucket
of water and some hay. I took her half full bucket of water and went outside
to the hose with it. I dumped out the old water and washed the bucket out
and filled it again.When I came back with it Stevie was laughing her butt off.

"What's so funny?" I asked as I entered the stall and put the bucket of fresh
water in the corner.

"Red....Red...." She burst out laughing again.

"Red what?"

"Red bit me in the butt ....."She laughed more." After I told her that she was a
lazy old mare!"

"And you are laughing because you got bit in the butt."

"Well , Yeah."

"Stevie!I swear you would laugh at anything." I said jokingly as I left the stall
to get hay.I climbed up to the latter to the hayloft and brought down an armfull
of hay while I used the other to climb down. When I came down I asked Stevie ,
Who was just coming out of Red's stall from grooming her , To get me the
haynet. She turned and used her good hand to reach over the stall's wooden
ducth door to the right and somehow undid it with one hand.I had forgotten
about her hurt wrist and wished that I would have just asked her to hold the hay
while I got it myself. She diden't mind , Though. She diden't even seem to notice
that her arm was confined to her blue cast. She acted like she had lived her
whole life with only one hand. When she handed me the haynet I packed
the hay into it and pulled the string. There. Perfect. I went into the stall and
tied the net on the ring and patted Red's neck as I walked out. Half an hour
laterRed had finished her food and I haltered her and led her out to the pasture.
When I was done me and Stevie started cleaning out the stall. We grabbed the
pitchfork and got to work.

"I'm sorry I can't help much."Stevie said as she leaned on the stall door.

"It's okay , Just don't get bucked off by any more wild mustangs."

"I don't plan on it."She said jokingly and for the first time I saw her looking at her
wrist.

After we finished we ran to the house to check the time. The clock said 6:12 am.

"Oh no!" Stevie wailed.

"What?"

"Your leaving me!"

"Stevie , it's not like I won't come by later to practice for the show!"

At the mention of the show her face went white.

"Kira , I can't ride."

"Yes you can. You ride western with one hand"

"You have to Kira.My parents won't let me."

"But I have only been riding for a month and a half!"

"And you can do almost everything I can!"

"I can't do western."

"I'll teach you. The show is still a month away."

"I can't learn to ride western in a month."

"Kira you have to."

I knew that voice. I was going to learn or fall flat on my butt weather I liked it
or not.

"Fine , We'll try."

"Let's go to the barn and hang out there before Emily wakes up and

follows us there."Stevie said.

We ran through the living room , Down the steps , across the sideyard , and into
the barn.

"Let's go visit Red."

"Good idea."

We went into the pasture and found Red. She was grazing under the cotten tree ,
which seemed to her favorite place. We walked over to her.

"Hey Red."Stevie said.

She lifted her head from the shaded grass and nickered. She put her head back
down and ate happily.We sat down next to her in the cool grass. She diden't
seem to notice us.

"Stevie do you honestly think that I can learn to ride western pleasure in one month?"

"It's worth a try. You can walk , trot ,and canter well. It's time to learn the next
thing."

I diden't want to admit to her that I was scared. I was scared of not being good
enough and letting her and Red down.

"Stevie. Most riders are still learning to trot in the time I have been riding."

"And are you like most riders?"

I thought for a second at what she said and came up with my answer.

"Yes , Yes I am."

"Okay , Do most riders learn on Red? Do most riders spent most of their life
before riding reading about horses? Do most riders have a secret horse
clubhouse and club? Do most riders have a silver stallion that comes to
you? Do most riders have me as a teacher? Do most riders..."

"Okay , I get it. I'm not like most riders. But I am like most people. I can't
learn something that takes years to prefect in a month. But
then again I do have the most stubborn best friend on the planet."

I smiled and she smiled. That last sentense was her premisson to try
to teach me. Red had lifted her head to listen to us , but now that we
were done she had put her head back down and was munching on
sweet ,green grass. Our smiles faded. Coming towards us was my
Mom and she did not look at all happy.

"Kira Cristen Roberts.Come here right now."

I could tell that she was not happy and I could tell that I would not
be seeing Red or Stevie for a while. Stevie shot me a sympathetic
look as I got up. I pet Red as I walked away. I wondered if I would
ever see my best friends again. I walked with my head bowed like
a person on death row. I felt one tear roll down my cheek. I turned.
I diden't care if she saw the tear or not.

"Goodbye Stevie. Goodbye Red."

She waved sadly and Red nickered. I turned away and kept walking
on to my red faced mother. I thought for a while when I walked.
Why should I feel ashamed? I had done nothing wrong. So I held
my head high in defiance as I marched on towards her. My courage
was fading when I reached her. Goodbye Stevie. Goodbye Red.
***************************************************
I sat in my bed and pulled the blankets up around me. I shivered.I
would never be warm again. This was worse than being alone. The
silence rang off the wallsand directed itself at me. It was about 5:30pm
acording to my clock. The ticking of it was a noise but it seemed to
be part of the silence. Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock. Ignoring the
sound only seemed to make it louder and happen more often. Tick
tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

"Dinner!"I heard my Mom shout.

I got out bed numbly and pushed the blankets away. I ran down the
stairs and into the dining room. When I came the table was neatly set
and my parents were there ,waiting for me. I sat down across from
them and ate my dinner quietly. No one said a word. Even though
the clock was still in my room I could still hear it in my head.
Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.I looked at my Dad. His eyes were
green, like mine.His hair was brown . Not like mine. My Dad had
tanned skin from spending time outside. I had my mother's fair skin
and aburn hair. I coulden't look at him. Iwas too mad. He knew too.
He could have just said "Oh well our daughter likes horses and there
is nothing we can do about it." But he diden't. When I finisished
I asked:

"May I be axcused?"

"Yes."My Mom said.

I quickly ran to my room. When I got there I grabbed my backpack and
pulled out mysketchbook and box of pencils. I began to draw the stallion.
I drew his head , then his neck,then his mane ,then his body , this his legs ,
then his tail. "The silver stallion." I wrote in cusive. I wondered if I would
ever see him again. If I would ever see Splash again. If I would ever see
Saber again. If I would ever see Red again. If I would ever see Stevie
again. I drew each of them.I had spent two hours drawing them. I was
tired. I put the sketchbook on my bedside table among some pictures of
my family.Iturned the ones that had my parents on them away from me.
I lay down. I felthot tears forming in my eyes. I sat up. No I woulden't feel
sorry for myself. I would do something. I diden't know what. I sank back
down against my soft bed. I was more tired then I relized. I fell into sleep's grasp.
************************************************************

[.{.Zeecarian.}.]

In the dark I could see his eyes. They were bright and shining.I was dreaming
about the stallion. The light came from an unseen sorce and then I could see
him . All of him.In the light his coat had that silver sheen that I had only
seen a few times. His eyes seemed like pools with too much water to hold.
But they held it. He turned. His tail whisped in the air. No...Don't go. I tried
to say. But in my dream I wasen't allowed a word. He disapeared into the
darkness and brought the myserious light along with him to wherever he was going.
No....Don't go. He whinnied. All the sudden it was black. I
felt like I was floating. The stallion's whinny was fading in the darkness until
I could hear him no more. The blackness faded away. I found myself in the
clearing. The stallion's whinny came when the blackness faded. In front of
me the clubhouse looked lonely and deserted without the daylight. It wasen't
night ethier. I coulden't explain it.It just was. I could see into the small window
in the strange light that the stallion brought. I could also see the small ingraved
horse on the door. The stallion apeared in front of the clubhouse from the side.
He whinnied again. The clearing faded away. I thought that the blackness was
coming again but I just woke in my bed. It was still night. That was it. I wasn't
staying here. In this place. In the room. I would stand a protest against them
for taking me away from Red Hawk and Stevie. I would runaway to the clubhouse.
Only for one night , Just to make my point.I shot up in bed. The lights were out.
I guessed that my Mom had turned them off.I pulled myself out of my bed and
snatched my sketchbook and put it in my backpack.I pulled a blanket off my bed
and stuffed that in , too. I also threw in my cell phone and put on my sneakers. That
was all I needed My own words rang inside my head: I'm going for one night , not
the whole summer.I snuck down the stairs and was mindful of that sweky spot
I hated. After I made my way down I opened the front door carefully and felt
the cold night air bite my skin. I locked the door and closed it carefully. I turned
on my flashlight beam and aimed it at the ground.With my backpack swung over
my shoulder I ran. Atleast when I was running the cold air faded away.I made
my way over the small roads no one but me used. I passed the apple tree
and Red's pasture. I despratly wanted to stop and see her. But I diden't
see her there.I slowed . I had a stich in my side. I walked around
the bend and looked back at Red's pasture. I would see her in the mourning.
I was on auto piolet. I was actaully suprised when I reached the forest.
I felt my excitment mounting as I tore through the woods. I wove my
way through the trees like a needle being sewn into fabric. I soon slowed
when I got nearer to the clearing.When I reached the clubhouse it looked
as lonely as it did in my dream. I walked to it and opened the door and
for the first time I fully relized what I was doing. I had runaway. Even if
I was going to come back tomorrow I had runaway. And I didn't care at
all. I walked in and threw my bag down. The room was dark , but I diden't
care about that ethier because I knew that place by heart.I leaned down as
I pulled out my blanket. My blanket floated in the air like a feather as I lay it
on the ground. I walked over to the chair and grabbed Apple Jack. I lay
down to meet a peaceful sleep under my blanket and hugged Apple Jack.
It was a silent , dreamless sleep. I woke a few hours later.At
first I thought it was mourning until I saw no light radiating from the window.
I was a heavy sleeper so something must have woken me up. Then I heard
something. It was a far way sound. It was mangled a little from traveling through
the trees to my ears but it was definely a whinny. I stood quickly. I tip toed to
the door , Which wasn't needed but I had become acustumed to sneaking by
then , and opened it. The cold air bit at me again , but I might as well have been
stone because I diden't care. I ran around to the side , through the trees , over
the dew covered grass , and into a huge open plain. I froze as still as a satue.
Right there , The stallion stood , His family in the distince , But he was close.

"Hey boy. How ya doin'?"

He thingyed his head. He was tense , ready to strike at any time.

"It's ok. I just heard you whinny and I came."

I wasn't sure if it had been him or another member of his family , really.
I tried to remember that if I was tense he would be to so I loosened as
much as I could.

"Do you like it here? No one can see you behind the forest because no one ever
comes here.I guess I shoulden't etheir."

He seemed to understand what I was saying. His body was still relaxed and
I think he was used to me and no longer saw me as even a possible threat.
He stepped forward to me. My heart skipped a beat. The stallion was coming
to me! He came closer and closer until his muzzle touched me. I looked up at
him. The stallion in some way had just told me that he wasn't afraid of me
anymore. I accepted that honor.

"Do you trust me?"

In a strange way I expected him to answer. Of course he diden't , atleast not
in words.

He pulled away and held his head high. Even though he had just accepted a
human he wasn't even a little bit less wild.

"I won't tell anyone about your home. Not even Stevie. Ok?"

With his body soulited against the fading moonlight he turned away. This time
he diden't take the light with him. It was mourning. I watched him gallop back
to his waking family.

"Goodbye...."I said with a content smile on my face.

I turned too and smiled the rest of the way back to the clearing. When I was
inside I gathered my stuff and put Apple Jack back on the chair and walked
out. Trough the winding path I went until I found the road. I walked on and
on and around the bend and spotted Stevie and Red. Stevie looked on with
a suprised look on her face.

"Kira! Your here!"She called from the pasture.

I jogged over to them and hoped the fence.

"Of course I am. I wouldn't let you and Red down."

She smiled and hugged me. Red nickered and lifted her head.

"Come on , Let's go ride. We have to get you ready for the show."She said
with a smile.

I smiled warmly back at her. I took the halter from her and caught Red. We
walked happily back to the barn. This day was perfect. I had seen the stallion.
I was going to ride Red to get ready for the show. But would I be able to ride
in the show? I didn't know , But I hoped that I would.
*******************************************************************
"Ok Red jog!"

Red seemed to know the word. She went into a pace that I could loosly relate
to a trot.

"This feels so weird."

"It does at first."

I soon learned how much it was like trotting. I didn't have to post, though. It
was slower and Red held her head low. We jogged for a about ten minutes until Stevie said:

"Would you like to try a lope now?"

"Sure."

I knew a lope was like a canter only very controled and a little slower.We
started to lope. It was comfortable and easy to ride. I rocked to it.

"This isen't as hard as I thought."

"It isen't when you learn english first , I speak from expericence."

"Hey don't think this means i'll stop calling you a dressage diva."

I didn't look away from the area in front of me while we talked.I began to
think that I could do this. Soon Red slowed to a jog. And then a walk. I patted her
damp neck.

"Good girl Red."I said to her.

It was a strange thing to think but at the time I was proud of her. She could do so much.

"Nice first try."Stevie said smiling.

"Thanks , But Red did most of the work."

"Whoa."I told Red.

She stopped and I dismounted quickly and pulled the reins over her head. The
reins felt not like reins in my hands but weapons of great power. Power I could
use to win the showor I could use to let Red and Stevie down. I was starting to
know what I was going to use that power for. I lead Red to her stall and me
and Stevie started to untack her. I tried to hide a smile that snuck up on me
and I didn't suceed.
******************************************************

[.{.Zeecarian.}.]

After we untacked and groomed Red we laughed and joked and made plans
for the show. When we were done the blue skys started to turn stormy and grey.
Rain began to patter softly all over the ground. Rain drops sparkled on emerald
blades. Rain fell apon the pavement of Stevie's driveway. I welcomed the musty
, earthy , rich smell that it brought. The sprinkles gentely fed the earth and pattered
queitly on the barn roof. We ran outside , Into the rain , we tried not to get very wet
but the rain only came down harder against us. The rain became a shower. The
pavement went dark.Water gathered in the network of cracks and traveled among
themselves. The earth bled. When we came inside we were soaked. Our hair
was stringy and dripping.When we were inside the rain pounded against the roof ,
daring us to come outside and face it. I wondered if the stallion and his family took
cover under the trees in the rain. I also wondered if the stallion , So wild and proud
, could fear and respect the rain like I did. I pictured him in the rain: His mane and tail
dripping , His scars shining under his damp coat , Blending into the the silver-grey sky ,
His dark eye the only dark thing in sight , Yet it was so full of light.

"Oh my goodness girls! You are wet! Please go change !" Ms.Parker said when she saw us.

We obeyed and ran up stairs to Stevie's room. Stevie let me barrow a pair of jeans and
a t-shirt and gave me a plastic bag to put my wet clothes in.

"The rain looks pretty..."I said as I looked out her bedroom window.

"Why?"

"Look."

She looked. She watched. She stared. I could see that she diden't know what I meant.

"At what?"

I shook my head and looked her in the eye.

"Never mind..."

She changed the subject.

"My Mom will drive you home."

At the mention of home a pang of fear struck me. Home. Would if we went
there and they blamed Stevie and her Mom? I would find a way to make it
home on my on. Through the beautiful , glimmering rain. I loved walking in
the rain. I loved lifting my face to the grey , surrel sky and outstreching my
arms and feeling the rain run down my face. Feeling it sliding down my
fourhead and it trickling off my nose , over my mouth , silencing me.
Feeling the rain drops collect on my finger tips and in my cupped hands
until it slid off to the drowning grass. I even loved standing barefoot in
the rain and feeling the stone coldness it made them feel. I loved feeling
the soft pricks of damp grass against my feet while standing in the rain.
I loved the rain.I snapped back to reality.

"It's alright , I want to walk in the rain."

She had a confused look on her face.

"Are you sure?"

"I love to walk in the rain."

Soon I had done what I wanted.I walked . Rain fell down on me. It trickled
down my neck. I lifted my face to the sky and stopped. I closed my eyes.
The rain slid over my closed eyelids. It was cool. It glided over the surface
of my skin like a snake. It trickled down my neck , over my coller bone and
then was soaked up by my sweater. I put my head down and opened my eyes.
Rain drops decorated my eye lashs. I walked on. There was something special
about a summer storm. Dispite my love for the rain I shivered and for the first
time I was glad that I was almost home. I stopped , Unzipped my backpack ,
pulled out my blanket , and zipped it up again. I wrapped the warm blanket
around myself and picked up my pace.I was almost home. I could even see a
glimer of light from my house coming up. I started to jog and wrapped the
blanket around myself tighter. I was almost home....I was almost home!
My heart began to race. Would I come back to open arms and people glad
to have me home? Or cold hard faces ready to yell at me? Both? Neither?
I diden't know but I knew that home was the only place to go. I was coming
closer. And closer. And I was there. I stopped and looked at my house.
Lights radiated from the windows. The car was in the driveway. I smiled
slightly to cheer myself up and knew that I would soon be moving on to
something else. I diden't know what.But I knew that I had made my point.
I had looked and stared and wondered and thought long enough. I marched
up the pathway and up the steps and knocked on the redwood door shakily.
My Mom aswered. Her eyes and nose were puffy and red.

"Kira?"

Before I could say anything I was smothered with a hug. No tears rolled down my cheeks.
I just buried my face in her long hair. She pulled away.

"You are wet! Where were you? Come inside!"

I gratefully came in.

"Chris!Chris! Kira is home!" She called to my Dad.

My Dad raced from the other room. We both froze when we saw each other. Then we both
went forward and hugged. I was pulled to his strong chest.I felt happiness swell inside me.
When we stopped our hug he said with tears in his brown eyes:

"Young lady , we are going to have a nice, long talk.After you change."He said gently.

"Ok."I said. I hung my head low. I was ready for my punishment. Atleast I thought I was.

If I was to be permently taken away from horses I didn't think I could bare it.

Later , we sat at the couch in the living room. Mom was sitting beside me and my Dad sat
deeply in his favorite chair.I had changed into a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. The t-shirt was
light blue and the jeans were old and faded. A few rips had unwelcomly invaded it's threads.
My Dad breathed deeply in the awkward silence. I looked around the room to avoid their stares.
My eyes traveled over the green rug atop the old , wooden floor, over the walls that had a few paintings
on them. One painting was one of some dogs playing poker. Another had a man on it. His
stare was cold and unwavering. The man had a strong , wide face with a powerful jaw and
haunting green eyes with seemingly unlimited deepths to them. There was a ring of dark , forest
green around the paler green. The pupil was dark and looked like a black onyx.Nothing else in
the painting was notable. He was my great great grandfather. I shared his eyes. My eyes then
traveled over the place where the carosel horse had once been. Even though I haden't seen it in
nine years I still missed it. Finally , My Dad broke the silence.

"Why did you do that?"He asked stearnly.

"Because .... You woulden't let me see Stevie and Red Hawk."

"Who?"My mother asked.

"My best friend and and her horse."

"You know very well that we do not want you around horses."

"Why!?Nothing is wrong with them. They are the best thing in the world to me."I yelled debatingly.

"Because we don't want you around them."Mom said.

Anger rose in my chest. I stood.

"But why?I get it. You don't excatly love horses. But what does that have to do with me?"

My hair flashed as bright as the anger inside me. It caught the lamp light from the corner of the
room and seemed to trap it.

"Because we told you so. It has everything to do with you. If it weren't for them you would still
have a sister!"

I was confused. What on this earth were they talking about. My sister? She died in a car accident
didn't she? I had never been more confused about something in my whole life. Confusion blinded
my thoughts.

"What are you talking about?"I said , barely hiding anger and confusion behind my voice.

My Mom left the room. My Dad still remained so I faced him with providing the answer.

"What was she talking about?" I demanded more than asked.

He took a deep breath and exhaled it shakily.

"Your sister did die in a car accident."

"So what was she talking about?"

"Sit down Kira."

I sat on the couch and he strode over to me.

"Are you going to tell me?"I asked.

"Your sister was riding a four year old horse near the highway and the horse
started to run and a car hit them. Your sister flew through the car window
and she diden't make it to the hospital."

His eyes were filled with tears. I lay back , stunned. My sister died riding.
I couldn't think of a better way to die than riding , but what was she doing
riding a four year old horse close to the highway? I knew what my parents
had been thinking. It was the horse's fault.

"Dad , did you even consider that she shoulden't have been riding near
the highway?"

My Dad had a blank look on his face.

"Dad , I won't make mistakes like that! I never have!"

My Mom slinked back into the room and sat next to me.

"You are not..."She started to say.

I cut her off.

"Just hear me out! That is fair , right?" I asked.

They nodded their heads.

"Look , Melony made a mistake by riding a four year old horse alone
near a highway. She shoulden't have. That is dangerous and she
should have known that! And I love horses and I am interested.
Shouldn't that be enough? For the first time there is something I
am good at and something I dream about and she is right up the
road , in a pasture. And for the first time I have a real friend.Mom,
Dad, Please."

They looked at me.

"We'll think about it."My Mom said , And with that we were done.

I ran up the my room. When I arivved I felt a tear forming in my
eye.I changed into a lacy , white night gown. It was thin and
cool. It was delicute in it's looks. It was my favorite nightgown.
I walked across the room to my vanity mirror. I looked into it
and there was a girl I could barely see as myself. My back length hair
shined in the fading light. It contained the esense of fire in itself.
My eyes were rimmed with dark green as if to contain the paler ,
haunting green inside it. My lips were thin and pale. Even though,
I liked them. My face was ovel shaped. My hair framed my face
like the frame of a painting.My thin , boyish body was draped
by the lacy ,white nightgown. My skin seemed so pale
that it could blend in with the nightgown at any moment.The
girl looking at me from the mirror looked like a painting of
a maiden of medivel times. I didn't care much about looks ,
but the mirror was something to look at. Outside , I could
still hear the pattering of the rain. I was reminded of the rain
so me and the mirror girl parted and we went to our windows.
The rain fell and fell. I felt the window in my hands as I
pulled it up. Rain snuck it's way into the house meant to
keep it away. Hands , My hands , reached out into the rain.
Rain fell on them in no set pattern , But with a musical rythm.
I pulled them back. The rain gave me no feeling but
pysical coldness. I closed the window. I could seek no
comfort in the rain this time. I had to think about this.
I walked to my bed and sat in the middle of it. I was
not going to sleep , But I was going to sit. I really wished
that I had Apple Jack to talk to. Even though talking to a
stuffed horse was silly talking into space seemed sillier.
I drew my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around
them. My sister died because of a horse. No! She didn't.
she died because she made a big mistake. Because she was
riding a horse near the highway. Because that horse was young.
Because she was alone. Because she didn't control the horse.
Because she made a mistake. Right? Wrong? My thoughts
danced franticly in my mind. The rain outside fell less and
less and became weaker. Then it stopped. But the sun
didn't come out. I didn't think it would until they made their
minds up. Even then I didn't think the sun would come
out unless it was the right answer. Yes. I unwrapped my
arms and lay back. The cool pillow felt good against
my cheek. I was laying on my cut cheek , Which
was still a little sore. I knew that I couldn't sleep until
until they told me. Even then I woulden't sleep. If it was
yes I would be too happy. And if it was no? I didn't know
what I would do if the answer was no.
****************************************

[.{.Zeecarian.}.]

But I did sleep. It wasn't a good sleep. I had nightmares
of being chased. I was in darkness and there was someone
behind me , chasing me away from the clearing. I woke
in a cold sweat and shot up in my bed. My nightgown stuck
to my skin. I pushed the blankets off of me and went to the
mirror. I picked up my blue brush and ran it through my
tangled hair.I brushed and brushed numbly. When my
hair fell sleek over my shoulders I walked away. The
sky was now blue and the blinding mourning sunlight flooded
from my window. Sitting on my bed again I thought about
what my parents had said. Had they decided yet? I hoped
that I would get my answer soon. My stoamach demanded
food so I made my way to the kichen. I stopped and wasn't
hungry anymore. I couldn't believe what I saw on the fireplace.
Sitting there was my carosel horse. My jaw dropped. It
looked just liked it did nine years ago. I felt like I was in
a trance as I walked forward to it. It even had the same
chip in it's leg. The porclin horse had a golden pole through
it's bodice. I couldn't beleive it. How had it made it's way
onto the fireplace? My hand
shook as I touched it. It was like I was checking if it
was real and if it really was there. It was. I felt the cold
, smooth surface. It was really there. I stared. I traced
my finger around it. Even though my Mom wasn't lifting
me up to it anymore like she did when I was little it
felt like she was. I heard something behind me and I turned
around. I knew that my eyes were then watery. My Mom
was in the doorway looking at me.

"Mom?" I asked carefully.

"Go."She said with a gentle smile.

"Thanks."

I ran from the room to mine and grabbed my backpack.When
I did I raced out the door and down the road to Stevie's house.
I couldn't believe it. I felt like I was still dreaming. They had no
idea how much that meant to me. I stopped when I saw Red
in her pasture. I was back where I belonged. I hoped the fence.
Red nuzzled me. Her watery , brown eyes seemed like the center
of the world to me. I felt her smooth pelt on my face as I hugged
her neck tightly. Some of her rough mane brushed my skin.It felt
good to see her again.

"I'm back girl."I whispered almost silently in her fuzzy ears.

"I'm really back."

I pulled away. It was time to go find Stevie. Red went back to
grazing as I ran to Stevie's house. My long strides carried me
over the green grass. Small dew drops sparkled like jewels in
the mourning sun. Reaching the fence, I climbed over it and landed in Stevie's
sideyard. I ran to the right to the barn. Knowing Stevie she
would be in the barn. If not I could atleast see the familar
sight of the four stall barn and smell the familar smell of hay,
oats, muck, dust , and saddle soap. I went through the
door of the small stable. It wasn't really a door as much as
it was just an open space where a door would go. The
stable was light blue. Stevie and I had painted it two weeks
before. When I came inside I heard her in the tack room.
Good she was there. I went in the tack room through the
open door. She didn't notice me at first. She was bent down
scrubbing a saddle.

"Hey Stevie."I said calmly.

She jumped a little and spun around. She clutched her heart and
pretended to fall on the floor.I giggled.

"Get up you goof ball."I said jokingly while I pulled her up.

"Hey Kira."She said after she had gotten up.

"Hey."

"Ok , enough hellos. Let's finish cleaning this saddle."

She said , smiling.I saw then that she was talking about the western
saddle. It looked to me that it was perfectly clean. But I didn't bother
arguing with her. I was too happy. The pudgent smell of saddle soap
perfumed the tack room as we cleaned the saddle. When we were
done Stevie brought the saddle with us.

"What are you doing?"I asked as we left the tack room.

She paused in front of the tack room and smirked.

"Getting you ready for the show. Grab the western bridle."

I sighed , she really thought we could do this.

"Ok."

Walking into the tack room I saw a row of bridles hung neatly on
bridle brackets on the ceder wood wall. My finger ran over the wall
as it traveled back and forth over the bridles. Dressage bridle. English
bridle. Double bridle. A lime green english bridle. A western bridle. I
grabbed that one quickly and ran after Stevie , Who was now walking
across the isle to Red's stall.

"Can you go get Red?"She asked as she put the saddle on the stall
door.

'Sure your Stevisty. Be right back!"I said , grabbing her red nylon
halter and lead as I ran out to the pasture.

Aproching the fence I didn't see Red at her cotton tree. I figured
she went to the ash tree on the other side.No Red.I looked at
the part of the pasture by the road.No Red.I looked in the back
of the pasture.No Red.I looked everywhere else I could think of.
Still no Red.

"Red!!!"I called out over the pasture.

Still no Red.I didn't see her sneaking up behind me. Red nudged me
, knocking me down.I tumbled to the grass , the slightly spiky blades
poking me.I instantly shot up , not even noticing the trick she played.
I hugged her tightly and whipsered in her ear.

"Red..Your ok!"

Snorted softly as if to say: Okay , Okay you love me!Now get offa meh!
I obeyed her silent words and smiled , slipping the crimson red halter
over her graceful head.
me , hard , on the back.I almost fell.I was so happy to see her
I didn't even notice the trick she had played on me.Hugging
her tightly I spoke.

"Red!!Where were you?"

She snorted as if to say:Yeah , yeah ya love meh , now get offa.
me!Unwrapping my arms , I smiled and slipped her crimson red halter on her graceful
head and started leading her across the pasture to the barn.One problem.Red's
pasture was huge , and I had never been in this part before.The vast space
sperd out in every diareaction.I was lost , but Red wasn't. I wasn't leading
her anymore as much as I was holding onto the lead rope and being lead by
Red. I followed her short , coppy walk until we were in sight of the barn.So
now I took control of the lead once more and she walked beside me back to the
barn. Red blew air out her nose contently as we walked. I was nervous about
learning a new style and honestly didn't think I could do it.I knew Red could ,
but what about me?I had only been riding for a short while and didn't think I
had the skills to tackle a new skill and go to a show riding it. I wasn't ready , but
I knew that , ready or not , I was doing it. Stevie walked to me from the barn and
met me at the fence.

"She hide again?"

"Yeah , and since when does she do that?"I asked.

"I thought she stopped , but I guess she decided you needed to know."She
said with a snicker.

"Uh , is there any other quirks I should know?

Stevie shook her 'no'.

"No , but Red may just come up with a new one so don't worry!"

"Great.."I joked , leading Red inside
.