[A] [F]lyleaf

[.{.Zeecarian.}.]

A leather bound journal lay on a coffee table. Apon opening it , there was a blank page in the front , then on the next:

FLYLEAF

A flyleaf is a blank page at
the beginning of a book and at the end of a book
where people take notes and write dedications
and stuff. It's that moment of clarity just before
the story begins and that moment of clarity just
after it ends. So it's just like before you're born,
and just after you die....

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Then , on the next , Lacey Mosely's diary began.

Dear Diary ,
Hi!Im Lacey Mosely...Im ten years old. I have brunette hair , brown eyes , and I am 4'4.I was born September 4th ,1981.I live in Arlington, Texas. I love music.My Mom's a musican. She wants me to be one , but I dont know if I do. My familys pretty poor I guess. I dont have a Dad. I just have my Mom and my five brothers and sisters. My Mom hits me sometimes...But shes just stressed is all...My home is a warzone pretty much.

Dear Diary ,
I know its bad , I know im not supposed to but I started using drugs. Coke , and Meth. They make me feel like i floating...I like them. I feel bad , so I hide it. My family doesnt know , and they never will.

Dear Diary ,
A long time has passed since I last wrote.Its been three years , and now im thirten , obviously.Things have only gotten worse.I have no clue who I even am , and im in and out of hospitals , from my Mothers ' Accidents ' . Oh and the drugs thing?Its only gotten worse and worse. I foudn out that otehr people I know do them , so I do it with them now.

Dear Diary ,
Im in the hospital again right now. I have two broken ribs , and need about 50 sitchs.I hate her.All I did was tell her the truth , told her she was horrible. And this is my 'punishment' . Wonderful.
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Then , there was abotu 20 pages ripped out.

Dear Diary ,
Today was my fourteenth birthday . My Grandparents gave me a bass guitar. Im learning to play mostly Green Day and Nivara songs. I tried writing my own , but I had a hard time so for now im playing other peoples songs. I hope to soon not have to do that. Even though the past year has been tough , its not like all the others havnt been.We've moved so many times , but Ive got music now?Great.Now my Mom can stress me more to play...[/color]

Oddly enough , more pages had been ripped out after that.

Dear Diary ,
I dont even know why I write anymore.There isnt any point.Im sixteen ,and dont even ahve the slightest idea what im doing here. Well , I know why im with my grandparents now of ourse! Fighting with me and 'Mom' got so bad that I had to come here.

Dear Diary ,
THATS IT.Im done now. Im tired of not knowing who I am , or what I am doing here.Im going to kill myself , okay?!Maybe then I can have some peace.Just a little time...Just a little peace. I was in a band for a while , singing , writing , playing bass , but ti didnt help me at all.It only made me emptier....I dont want to be here anymore. I have no faith , no life , no nothing.Im going to find a way to die , somehow.

Dear Diary ,
I havnt decided how to die yet.I will die though. I hacked off all my hair , and my Grandma screamed at me.She dragged me to chuch and the preis started screaming and crying that there was a suicidal spirit in the room.Just a coinicidence. I think I might cut my wrists...Like I used to when I was younger.

Dear Diary ,
Im still alive , after two years. I was pregnant last year , but had an abortion. I jsut got married yesterday to Pual...Dont think I love him. But im still thinking that maybe this will give me a purpose , you know?Im pathectic...Eighteen and writing in a diary.

Dear Diary,
Great.Now im eightteen , pathetic ,and DEVORCED. Yeah you ehard me. Great...Life isnt any better than before. Besides that , some guy named Sameer talked to me in the park today. He foudn my lyrics notebook , and asked me to sing them for him. He said im good, b ut I dont think so. He wants me to play with him , he plays the guitar.

Dear Diary ,
Wow.This is jsut amazing...Ive been playing with Sameer.We are going to try to form a band ,isnt that.....good?? So far we've met two other guys who ight play wiht us , Pat and Jared....

Five mroe pages were ripped out , and the last one had this on it:

Dry your tears because I'm always here when you're tired of running. I'm all the strength that you need."
Every ending contains a new beginning.
There is no such thing as tomorrow.
"Peace that passes all understanding."
"My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge."
Revelation 12/Twelve
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